Sex, Spiritual Awakening and Relationships
So, do you wanna wake up or do you wanna get laid? Worried that you can have one but not the other? My friend, let me assuage those medieval mentations …
Sex and enlightenment are by no means mutually exclusive. I woke up in the midst of a completely normal marriage that included/includes sex and even spawn. If it’s not already obvious, the type of awakening I’m talking about here at PIE is not (ultimately) dependant upon any type of effort or tecnique. So fucking yourself into enlightenment or not fucking yourself into enlightenment is not going to work. On the other hand if the enlightenment you’re after is the Yogi-on-the-mountain-top, One-with-the-universal-godhead, breathitarian-kundalini-master one, then by all means do what you ya gotta do. Fuck away. But then again, if this is you, I hardly think you’d be tolerant of listening to a fool like me.
If you’ve acquired the good sense to let that kind of religulous notion go and have despaired of attaining anything then great, we can have a reasonable conversation about sex. Here’s the deal: It’s no big deal. Sex and enlightenment is just like everything else and enlightenment: In sensible moderation it’s all good. What I’m saying here is that if the enlightenment game is truly your cup of tea but you haven’t gotten laid in a over a decade, then – God Man!- go get yourself some putang. And conversely, if the enlightenment game floats yer boat, but you’ve got four girlfriends, a terrabite of laptop porn, and a blow up doll- okay, well then- you’re gunna need a period of abstinence.
Here’s some great advise that the school of Waking Down taught me: (I thought it was a gem and have remembered it all these years)
Don’t go looking in awakening what you can only find in relationship. Don’t go looking in relationship what you can only find in awakening.
Now that is some damn good advise. I can’t tell you how many satsangs, and yoga classes and new age bookstores I went to in hope of getting laid or meeting a girl. It’s just biological. Natural. Nothing wrong with it. You’d be in total denial if you didn’t admit that the first thing you do upon arriving to the meditation hall is to scan the room for some really nice ass: Just don’t let this automatic mechanism compromise the truer reason you came to sat sang. In attaining enlightenment, what is required, just like the rest of it, is that you extricate yourself from the gripping talons of maya. This is just a fancy way of saying that what you need to do is reverse the rolls of ego-mind and awareness. Right now, for most of you, ego-mind is the pilot and awareness is the co-pilot. They need to switch places.
So, try this the next time you’re having sex or are stressed about not having sex: Be aware, be deeply aware, in the midst of doing it or not doing it – and I’m sure, you will find, that one something is always true: Who you truly are is always present. Do this enough and surprising things will happen.