Spiritual Awakening Used Cars for Sale!


spiritual used cars enlightenment for idiots


Yesterday I got my nuts kicked in by not one…not two…but THREE spiritual kudzu weed used car salesman. You’ve met this type right? They read a few books about some superficial spiritual shit and then insist on blabbing their profound discovery to the world… every opportunity they get. Ugh. Nauseous, me thinks… I was gunna be.

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The Perfect Storm – Spiritual Awakening, 2012 Election, Economics, Solar Weather, and Mayan Prophecy

You might think that authentic spiritual awakening bestows upon a person the ability to see the future, or to grasp a bigger cosmic picture, or to predict larger evolutionary-spiritual-energetic patterns. You might conjecture that an authentically awakened individual is more sensitive to these waves and ebbs and tides. You might think that this authentic awakened type, due to the fact that he or she has done his homework on the spiritual front and actually-truly woken up, might benefit from certain side effects of awakening that allow him or her to see or feel beyond the normal wall of psycho-physical informational-knowledge limitations. You might even go to such a person for advice…

On the other hand– authentic spiritual awakening might bestow zip upon the recipient, (except perhaps a fuzzy warm feeling) and beyond that such individuals don’t know jack, can’t predict jack, and are as blind, stupid, ignorant, and dumb as the rest of us regarding the fate of the planet- including your country, bank account, career, love life, and the next winner of American Top Idol Got Talent. In other words, if an awakened person talks about prophecy, rest assured they’re pulling it out of their awakened ass.

Hmmm? Where do I fall? Well, in the name of writing a descent and entertaining blog post I will of course side with the bozo-lackeyes who believe that awakening bestows individuals with great gifts of prophecy! That being said: Ladies and Gentleman, hold on to your hats, because The Perfect Shit Storm of politics, economics, religion, spirituality, and weather is about to hit our little planet. Get out yer candles, guns and bibles. The end times are finally here! (yeah-hooorah)

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Spiritual Awakening and the 2012 Holidays. Are you Ready?

There is an opportunity available for you right around the corner. There is a gift in the air. There is an immensity brewing. There is an intensity set to trigger, ripe to pluck – waiting, waiting- for you dear reader to grasp, to absorb, and to make your own. Are you ready? Are you ready for the holidays- of 2012?

What I mean by ready of course is not the usual litany of material, commercial, stressed-out, calendar-based obligations. The ready I am talking about is accessed deep in the heart, at the core of your being, in the fundamentals of your humanity. This is the BIG ready, the one that has always been there, that has always beckoned you to return home, that has always hoped that you would one day take notice and respond. This is the BIG ready of your hearts true longing- to fulfill itself, to find itself, to BE here-now in this world. Are you ready for this?

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Awakening Ingredients and the SECRET to destroying the Death Star

So here we are. The final stretch. The final days of the twenty six thousand year long equinox precession. The end of the great Mayan calendar. The beginning of the new age. The Aquarian age. Is your vibration high enough? Has the great white brotherhood initiated you? Is your light body in tune with the super-divine energy of the universe? Are you pure enough? Enlightened enough? Perfect enough? Are you finally ready for Transcendence now that December 21st 2012 is here? Are the stars finally aligned for you?

Take a deep breath. Be honest now. Come on, really honest. Let silence settle upon your body. Let softness enter your mind. Relax. Let your guard down. It’s okay. It’s okay to admit- your answer to all of these questions is probably…no.

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