Humor 2017

Spiritual Awakening Used Cars for Sale!

 

spiritual used cars enlightenment for idiots

 

Yesterday I got my nuts kicked in by not one…not two…but THREE spiritual kudzu weed used car salesman. You’ve met this type right? They read a few books about some superficial spiritual shit and then insist on blabbing their profound discovery to the world… every opportunity they get. Ugh. Nauseous, me thinks… I was gunna be.

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Breaking Enlightenment Bad. True Spirituality. What is it?

There’s a scene, you know well, in the original 1999 film The Matrix.  Morpheus offers Neo the choice between two pills- the blue one and the red one:

“You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.”

Taking the red pill of course means accepting reality, no matter how brutal, hard, or difficult that reality may be. Taking the red pill requires a lot of courage. And- taking the red pill is the ultimate example of breaking bad…

Well, guess what? You’re gunna have to break bad in order to wake up. For real yo…

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Insult- Zen and the Art of Kicking your Ass into Spiritual Awakening

So, you want to wake up do ya? Hmmm? Really?…

Great. Well then, come sit on my knee and allow me to insult you.  Every tradition has their equivalent of a zen beating: an austerity, or test, or bare bones knock down fist fight that really tests the limits of your determination to actually go through with this waking up business.    … (continued)

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Spiritual Enlightenment Cliche’ # 54231516 What is true Spirituality?

Jed McKenna is my hero. There’s a passage in his book, Spiritual Enlightenment- The Damnedest Thing, that gets right to the root of our post modern spiritual materialism: He calls it en-lite-enment; where a person’s got all the goods, but none of the substance. Goods being meditation pillows, incense, rock gardens, statues, crystals, Oprah recommended books, and guaranteed techniques that will get you from point A to point B. All of this -out the proverbial yin-yang. Substance of course being enlightenment. (Oh yeah that)

Funny thing about waking up- it gives you a birds eye view of the spiritual landscape. And let me tell you: the view stinks. BUT- there’s hope…

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Spiritual Sense of Humor- Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

 

Laughter is the quickest way

 

I had a great humorous email exchange with a guy named Dan

I had a great email exchange with someone named Dan:

Dan’s emails are in BLUE

My responses are in BLACK

In the fifteenth year of his current incarnation, Dan had a powerful spiritual awakening that opened up not only his third eye, but a third ear and nostril as well, utterly transforming his life into an orificial smorgasbord that thereafter made annual physicals and body cavity searches take twice as long.

While this initial awakening later proved to be acid reflux, it did initiate a spiritual journey that eventually led Dan to India, where he met his beloved master, Sri Gulab Jamun, or as he lovingly called him, “Donut Hole.”  Sri Donut conferred upon Dan his highest blessing, and transmitted Shakti along with several non-communicable diseases.  Thereafter, Dan began seeing spirits, floaters, and the occasional stripper.  “It was as if blinders had fallen from my eyes at last, and everything I saw thenceforth was a student in need of my teachings.”

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Spiritual Humor, Sarcasm, Cynicism & Nihilism

Nihilism Humor

So as a first foray back into the world of PIE let us address the newly returned elephant in the room: Spiritual Humor, Sarcasm, Cynicism and Nihilism.  I am a fan of all four- to a certain extent. Part of the awakening process inevitably and naturally produces shades or vestiges of these things, but like anything else, they can also show up in over-abundant, rotten spades. Humor > turns into sarcasm.  Sarcasm > turns into cynicism. Cynicism > turns into NIHILISM.  When this happens… when the spiritual process turns into Nihilism…you’ve just become fucked, stuck and lost in a hole, seldom escaped from. Ooops- Not so funny anymore.

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Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Whattyda say we take a break from the  usual BCE video blog posts and take a peak at this utterly charming video snippet of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?  Willy Wonka is a spiritual awakening path metaphor.  Five kids win a golden ticket to journey through Willy Wonkas world- a world connected to joy and peace through  candy (on the exterior) ;  and to heart on the interior.  Little Charlie is the only kid  with heart who makes it through the factory without succumbing to its temptations. In the end he inherits Willy’s factory….Willys heart and Willy’s awakening.

HD 1080p /

2 more videos….

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The Undead

Here’s what I think happens to you after you die:

If you do not awaken in this lifetime then the same part of you that believes and holds onto the “you” continues post mortem. After dying you will immediately be transported (just like in Star Trek) to the pearly gates of heaven where St. Peter will tell you this:

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