Breaking Enlightenment Bad. True Spirituality. What is it?

There’s a scene, you know well, in the original 1999 film The Matrix.  Morpheus offers Neo the choice between two pills- the blue one and the red one:

“You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.”

Taking the red pill of course means accepting reality, no matter how brutal, hard, or difficult that reality may be. Taking the red pill requires a lot of courage. And- taking the red pill is the ultimate example of breaking bad…

Well, guess what? You’re gunna have to break bad in order to wake up. For real yo…

Breaking Bad, according to the online urban dictionary means the following:

1. To go wild, get crazy, let loose, to forget all your cares and just plain not give a sh**, to have a great time, to break out of your mold.

2. To challenge conventions, to defy authority and to skirt the edges of the law.

But the bad I’m suggesting has nothing to do with the law, or authority, or convention, or social ethics. The bad I’m suggesting is much more rigid and sinister than this. This bad– is buried deep, deep inside of you.  This bad  is the mind generated process of the separative ego, which guards itself with the most effective defensive mechanism ever devised: FEAR.

Now, I’m not talking about the type of fear which rears its head in the usual situations such as scary movies, or seeing a shark while swimming in the ocean, or hearing a strange noise in the middle of the night. No, the FEAR I’m talking is beyond your comprehension. You won’t understand it any more than Neo did until he took the red pill. This is a FEAR which will cause you to instantly renounce any of your involvement with spirituality or the awakening process. It will instantly melt your resolve and turn you into a cold clammy shivering bundle of nerves. This FEAR is the death of the separate you.  Yep… this is some serious BAD.  It is only upon confronting this fear that you realize that the most important tool you will ever utilize in the awakening process is this: COURAGE.  Bar None.

You are gunna need to BREAK BAD in order to truly confront this fear.

You might want to practice a little.  Don’t know what to do? Please, allow me to lead by example. Here’s a list of some of the ways I broke bad during the years of my spiritual seeking adventure:

1. I joined several spiritual cults.

2. I practiced yoga, meditation, and devotion to a guru.

3. I skydived out of a perfectly good airplane.

4. I floated in a sensory deprivation tank

5. I used subliminal hemi-sync tapes to induce out-of-body experiences.

6. I smoked pot.

7. I smoked pot at a Gangaji Satsang.

8. I took Salvia Divinorum (hallucinogen) while with an awakened teacher (he didn’t know) on a guided, silent, ten day, canoeing retreat, on the Green River in the Canyonlands of Utah.

9. I attended around a dozen sweat lodges.

10. I’ve been self-employed since I was 24.

11. I wrote, produced, and performed in a rock opera about a courtroom trial between god and the devil which was performed in Washington D.C. and N.Y.C.

12. I wrote an uninhibited, stream of consciousness, daily personal journal.

13. Over the course of about five years I hosted workshops in my home with three different awakened Satsang teachers.


I broke bad. And then…I broke bad, for real. You wanna wake up? You’re gunna need some courage. So, I suggest you get out there and practice; because if you can’t break conventional bad- ain’t no way your gunna break awakening bad. Now that … is some politically incorrect enlightenment advise. Good luck.

about JSD v2






If humor, wisdom and a nuts & bolts approach to spiritual awakening appeal to you email to schedule a FREE consultation and let’s see if we can get you to where you really want to be by getting you to embrace all the places you’ve been avoiding, fearing or running from.

Through self-inquiry exercises, nondoing relaxation methods, visualization techniques, eye contact & deep heart listening J. Stewart Dixon offers spiritual awakening facilitation, resonance & coaching services to guide you to glimpses of the awakened state & ultimately to your own awakening. J. Stewart studied for two decades & awakened under the guidance of numerous nondual, advaita & zen teachers.




4 Responses to Breaking Enlightenment Bad. True Spirituality. What is it?

  • 8th rules! 🙂

    • Yeah, I’m a bad-ass. Wow, what an ego, you might say. Yes- one must have an ego BIG enough and BRAVE enough to think that you can actually transcend it. It’s a pickle. Thanks for the comment. 😉

  • touchy topic this one 🙂 not many egos around here ;))
    so, was this your last life? they say it’s one of the best, if not the best one! enjoy!

  • Dear Breaking Bad, I’ve only done 4 of the breaking bad items on your list of 13(just 30% & half of those were partaking in sacred herb), and am wondering if I’m can still be considered prime material to have the goods to venture into this awakening hellhole that you speak of to battle it out with my worst fears? My skeptical husband wonders how anyone that is awakened would claim to be so, and I have a feeling that the answer to that one is all about the p.i.e piece-hee-hee. Remember the statement: If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him? Now that would be breaking bad………just checkin’ in to see if I’m on track here with the breaking bad mojo. Irreverantly yours, Jan

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